JOHN THE BAPTIZER

 

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Luke 3: 1-12

1. In those days John the Baptizer appeared in the wilderness of Judaea, shouting, Repent, ye faithless shower, for the kingdom of God is pretty damn close!


2. To avoid confusion, this is the one of whom the prophet Isaiah once wrote on a bad day, A voice making a lot of noise in the wilderness, something about tidying up the path before He comes


3. John had about him garments of camels hair, and munched constantly on locusts and wild honey, which was strange even for those days.


4. And behold, the people came unto him in droves, and gathered upwind of him, for there was a slight whiff in the air.


5. And he baptized them in the River Jordan as they confessed their naughtiness.


6. And John smiled when he heard what they had been getting up to when the wife had gone shopping.


7. And lo! The Pharisees and the Sadducees came also unto him, and seeing the baptizing going on thought that it was a good idea, and that they too should be dipped.


8. But John saith unto them, x!jq (*) off, ye vipers brood!


9. And they said unto themselves, Charming. No respect for the clergy these days. And what sort of a baptismal policy is that? Who does he think he is? Elijah?


10. Yet John harangued them further, and then said unto all the crowd,


11. I have thrown you in the river, but I am just a theological precursor. There is one to come after me who will do even wilder things. I am not fit even to carry his wellies or his winnowing fork, whatever that is.


12. And so John knew his place, and did not let power go to his head, where later it would be lost for good.

(*)Here the Hebrew is uncertain

 
 
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