Luke 3: 1-12
1. In those
days John the Baptizer appeared in the wilderness of Judaea,
shouting, Repent, ye faithless shower, for the kingdom of God is
pretty damn close!
2. To avoid confusion, this is the one of whom the prophet Isaiah
once wrote on a bad day, A voice making a lot of noise in the
wilderness, something about tidying up the path before He comes
3. John had about him garments of camels hair, and munched
constantly on locusts and wild honey, which was strange even for
4. And behold, the people came unto him in droves, and gathered
upwind of him, for there was a slight whiff in the air.
5. And he baptized them in the River Jordan as they confessed their
6. And John smiled when he heard what they had been getting up to
when the wife had gone shopping.
7. And lo! The Pharisees and the Sadducees came also unto him, and
seeing the baptizing going on thought that it was a good idea, and
that they too should be dipped.
8. But John saith unto them, x!jq (*)
off, ye vipers brood!
9. And they said unto themselves, Charming. No respect for the
clergy these days. And what sort of a baptismal policy is that? Who
does he think he is? Elijah?
10. Yet John harangued them further, and then said unto all the
11. I have thrown you in the river, but I am just a theological
precursor. There is one to come after me who will do even wilder
things. I am not fit even to carry his wellies or his winnowing
fork, whatever that is.
12. And so John knew his place, and did not let power go to his
head, where later it would be lost for good.
(*)Here the Hebrew